It’s been too long since I’ve written!
Sooooo like many others I’ve been in lockdown and still am mostly, you’d think that would have given me the time to write down thoughts and feelings but no, it’s made me lazy and complacent. I know I’m not alone in this but for me it still isn’t acceptable so I’m trying to give myself that much needed kick up the arse.
How are we all feeling?
There’s been a lot of talk about depression, loneliness, weight gain, kindness and selfishness, too much time together and too much time apart and of course fear. Fear of the illness taking us or our loved ones and friends.
There seems to be so much worry and too much time to reflect and take hold. When this virus first hit us we all seemed to be kind and thoughtful and since we’ve started to come out of lockdown slowly many peoples selfish behavious is more exexacerbated than many of us have ever experienced. I find it strange how people can change so quickly. Kindness has gone amiss, the same thing happened in the UK earlier in the year with the death of Caroline Flack. Will we ever change as a society? Sadly propbably not
Wow I’m a cheery soul today aren’t I? It must be the rain
There has been a LOT of talk about depression lately, I’m not 100% sure if I suffer from depression but I’ve had a pretty shitty year, my seizures are not stopping despite changing and increasing medication, this is terrifying. And with each seizure I’m losing memory and feel like I’m losing part of myself. I don’t want this to drag me down but it’s hard to pick yourself up every time you wake up to your loved ones terrified faces. I have however seemed to have very good warning signs now, these warnings force me to ‘wash my kitchen dishes’ I know that’s a weird one but every time in the last few months. I have also made sure I’m properly dressed, I don’t want to be found in nothing but my knickers (or less), obviously this means I am at home and not wandering the streets. My concious reasons are that I don’t want an ambulance crew to see dirty dishes and I want to be dressed if I have to be taken to hospital. That makes sense in my own head.
What I have discovered is that I can’t overdo things, getting too tired causes a seizure, eat well, too much sugar ‘might’ bring on a seizure, no alcohol, we still don’t know if that does or doesn’t make a difference and red light therapy. I’ll post more about this in a later post. I honestly don’t know if any of these things are making a difference but I will keep trying and I will keep trying to find myself.
On that note it’s time to make a cuppa and have some chill time. I will be back writing more posts and I love hearing from you so please drop me a message.
Keep safe
Victoria
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